January 25th, 2006

Smiley

(no subject)

Some days, you wake up and it's all ok.

Some days, you wake up and stumble into the bathroom, catch sight of yourself in the mirror and go "yeach, I really need to shave."

Then you think "hang on...I shaved really recently. I have fresh memories of shaving. I shaved yesterday - no, more recently...last night? Why would I shave last night...and there's too much stubble for....".

Then you realise you did not shave last night. You dreamed about shaving last night.

You compose a rant in your head about how lacking your subconscious is. How other people have amazing, even lucid, dreams about wonderfully realised and exciting exotic realms, you apparently dream about shaving in such pissant detail that you mistake it for the real thing. How hideously mundane and barren your sleeping mind is...

Then you remember that, in the dream, there was an odd circular blade attached to the electric shaver. It was really inconvenient, you had to use the edge of the shaver head and the beard trimmer bit far more than normal, because of the huge jagged circular blade that was sticking out of the centre of the razor. Ok, that's a bit imaginative, but still oddly familiar...

Then you realise that you know that blade. It is, in fact, the blade from the Talking Simpsons Novelty Pizza Cutter that your aunt gave you for Christmas. Your mind conflated your electric razor and the blade from the Talking Simpsons Novelty Pizza Cutter that your aunt gave you for Christmas, and you don't know what that means. Don't shave with the Talking Simpsons Novelty Pizza Cutter that your aunt gave you for Christmas is one interpretation, but that seems trite and obvious.

And while you're standing there in confusion, your subconscious arrogantly flips you one last fragment of memory, a single frame from a dream.

And in that memory, you're crouched in the dark woods. You're writing a message to Allen Varney to warn of the demons, and you're writing it on a shoe.